Family

Divorce and Remarriage in the Bible

Richard Hagan

‘That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.’
Genesis 2:24 (NIV)

1. What Marriage Is and What it Points Towards

In Genesis 2:24, God our Creator gives three components of marriage. First, a man leaves his father and mother. Before marriage, a man’s first loyalty is to his parents. Upon marriage, it is to his wife. Second, he is united to his wife. The Hebrew verb here literally means ‘cleaves’ or ‘clings to’, implying both passion (the same word is translated in Genesis 34:3- ‘Shechem’s heart was drawn to Dinah’) and permanence (Numbers 36:7 ‘Every Israelite shall keep [cling to] the tribal land inherited by from his forefathers’). Third, the husband and wife become one flesh. While the first two components (leave and cleave) are active, this last one is passive: two become one. Gordon Wenham states that ‘one flesh’ means not merely ‘the sexual union… or even the spiritual and emotional relationship…rather it affirms that just as blood relations are one’s flesh and bone, so marriage created a similar kinship relation between man and wife. They become related to each other as brother and sister are.’¹

Marriage is intended to be permanent and lifelong, close and intimate. Divorce was never part of God’s good design in creation; it came later because of sin. Earthly human marriage is intended as a visual aid for the greater marriage that all are invited into, whether they are single or married, divorced or widowed. Jonathan Edwards pondered why God made this world, and came to this conclusion in the light of passages such as Ephesians 5:31-32, Song of Songs and Revelation 21:2:

The end of the creation of God was to provide a spouse for his Son Jesus Christ on whom he might pour forth his love. And the end of all things in providence are to make way for the exceeding expressions of Christ’s love to his spouse and for her exceeding close and intimate union with, and high and glorious enjoyment of, him and to bring this to pass. And therefore the last thing and the issue of all things is the marriage of the Lamb. And the wedding day is the last day, the day of judgement, or rather that will be the beginning of it. The wedding feast is eternal; and the love and joys, the songs, the entertainments and glories of the wedding never will be ended. It will be an everlasting wedding day.²

When asked about divorce in Matthew 19, Jesus quoted the foundation verse of Genesis 2:24 as the Creator’s word to us. Because a husband and wife are no longer two but one flesh, Jesus says that no-one should separate what God has joined together. Yet because of ‘hardness of heart’, the Mosaic law permitted divorce. On this occasion Jesus names only one ground for divorce: that of sexual immorality. However, as we look at the Torah itself, we see more grounds.

2. Old Testament Passages on Divorce

(a) Adultery

If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord. Do not bring sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance. (Deuteronomy 24:1-4)

This passage from Deuteronomy protected a woman from being taken advantage of by restricting remarriage. Once a certificate of divorce was given, a marriage came to an end. Even if the second husband divorced her, that did not give the first husband the right to turn back the clock and profit from remarrying her. The interpretation of the phrase ‘something indecent’ is debated. Given that the basic meaning is ‘nakedness’, and defilement is also mentioned, which often refers to the sexual realm, the most common interpretation of the phrase is that it refers to adultery. By the time of Jesus, the phrase came to mean something much wider, as we shall see later in this article.

The LORD even knows what it is like to end a marriage by initiating divorce proceedings against the northern kingdom of Israel: ‘I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries’ (Jeremiah 3:8).

However, adultery is not the only ground for divorce in the Mosaic law.

(b) Being Deprived of Food, Clothing or Marital Rights

If he marries another woman, he must not deprive the first one of her food, clothing and marital rights. If he does not provide her with these three things, she is to go free, without any payment of money. (Exodus 21:10-11)

These verses, from the Book of the Covenant, refer specifically to wives who were slaves. Even a slave wife had a right to food, clothing and conjugal love, and if a husband took another wife and failed to deliver in these three areas, she could ‘go free’, which refers to divorce. But it is unlikely that the teaching is restricted to the case of slave wives: if slave wives were afforded such protections in ancient Israel, how much more free wives. This is likely to be what the background of Paul’s teaching in 1 Corinthians when he says spouses owe one other sexual love (7:3-5) and material support (7:33-34). In Ephesians, Paul also states how in imitation of Christ’s love for the church, the husband ought to love, feed and care for his wife (Ephesians 5:28-30).

The Old Testament permitted divorce in the above circumstances as a concession, but it was never commanded. Because marriage is intended to be lifelong, divorce is also described by the LORD as a breach of covenant, an ‘act of violence’:

Another thing you do: You flood the Lord’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favour on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, ‘Why?’ It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth. ‘The man who hates and divorces his wife’, says the Lord, the God of Israel, ‘does violence to the one he should protect’, says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful. (Malachi 2:13-16)

When we move to the New Testament, it is clear that Jesus upholds the Old Testament. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says that not the smallest letter or the least stroke of a pen will disappear from the Old Testament law (Matthew 5:18).

3. Jesus’ Teaching on Divorce

When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?’
‘Haven’t you read’, he replied, ‘that at the beginning the Creator “made them male and female,” and said, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh”? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.’
‘Why then’, they asked, ‘did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?’ Jesus replied, ‘Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.’” (Matthew 19:1-9)

The Pharisees came to test Jesus with a question on divorce, asking whether divorce was lawful for ‘any cause’. This goes back to Deuteronomy 24:1 and the reference to ‘something indecent’. In Jesus’ day, most rabbis understood that to mean sexual immorality. However, the Hillelite party of the Pharisees took it much more widely. As well as sexual immorality, they understood ‘something indecent’ also to allow divorce for ‘a cause’ or ‘any cause’. Divorce was then permissible for anything from a man not liking his wife’s cooking to not liking her wrinkly skin. Because of its speed, efficiency, and avoidance of embarrassing court appearances, it gained such rapid acceptance that Philo lists ‘any cause’ as the only basis for Jewish divorce.³

Jesus rejected ‘any cause’ divorce, stating that marriage is exclusive and lifelong. Divorce came in because of hardness heart, stating it was permitted but not compulsory. In Matthew 19 Jesus only names one ground for divorce: sexual immorality. But in Mark 10, Jesus mentions no ground for divorce at all:

Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?’ ‘What did Moses command you?’ he replied. They said, ‘Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.’ ‘It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law’, Jesus replied. ‘But at the beginning of creation God “made them male and female.” “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.’ When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.’ Mark 10:2-12 (NIV)

Here Jesus simply upholds marriage, acknowledges hardness of heart, and speaks against a particular form of remarriage. We cannot conclude that Mark’s Gospel is Jesus’ only and final word on divorce (where no grounds are mentioned at all), otherwise, that would contradict Matthew 19. Neither can we conclude that Deuteronomy 24:1 or Exodus 21:10-11 are no longer relevant. Mark simply records Jesus upholding marriage against those who came to test him from a party that was spreading easy divorce on the basis of Deuteronomy 24:1.

In the Gospels we see Jesus’ pastoral wisdom in applying the Law to the people in front of him. We must be wary of so teaching these Gospel passages that we make them contradict what the rest of Scripture teaches; as Article 20 of the 39 Articles of the Church of England helpfully states: ‘It is not lawful for the church to ordain any thing that is contrary to God’s word written, neither may it so expound one place of scripture, that it be repugnant to another.’

4. Paul’s Teaching on Divorce

Because there was no dispute about Exodus 21 in the first century, it was not mentioned in Jesus’ debate with the Pharisees. There was common agreement. But as we have already seen (see 2b, above), in both 1 Corinthians 7 and Ephesians 5, the Apostle Paul refers to the positive obligations set out in Exodus 21.

Paul also shows that desertion by an unbelieving spouse can also bring an end to a marriage: ‘But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.’ (1 Corinthians 7:15)

The common, historic, Protestant view is that there are two grounds for divorce: adultery, and on the basis of the above verse, desertion. This is the position set forth, for example in the Westminster Confession of Faith (1646): ‘Nothing but adultery, or such wilful desertion as can no way be remedied by the church, or civil magistrate, is cause sufficient of dissolving the bond of marriage.’ (WCF 24:6)

Yet on the basis of 1 Corinthians 7:15, Wayne Grudem prefers instead to see more than two grounds for divorce. It turns on what Paul means by ‘in such circumstances’. Does Paul refer only tothe case of desertion by an unbeliever, or do his words also apply to anycases that have similarly destroyed a marriage? Grudem shows that Greek literature generally uses the plural ‘circumstances’ (rather than circumstance) to refer to a variety of cases rather than one. What is more, in the rest of the New Testament, the singular (‘such a case or person’) is used when the reference was limited to one specific example (see e.g. Acts 22:22, Titus 3:10). If Paul had meant to refer only to desertion, he would have used the singular ‘in such a case’. Grudem then amplifies the meaning of the above verse in this way: But if the unbeliever partner separates, let it be so, ‘in this and other similarly destructive cases’, the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.’⁴

Grudem ponders a variety of cases where divorce may then be permissible, such as

Physical abuse
Abuse of children
Extreme, prolonged verbal and relational cruelty
Credible threats of serious physical harm or murder
Incorrigible addictions

The majority of Christians would agree that divorce is permissible on the basis of abuse, and this is not just recent teaching. For example, at the Reformation, writers like Cranmer, Beza and Perkins thought this way, using terms like ‘hostility’, ‘ill treatment’, ‘hurt’ and ‘cruelty’ rather than abuse.⁵ While some see abuse as a form of desertion, calling it ‘constructive desertion,’ and others like Grudem see it as a separate extra ground, there is agreement that it is possible to divorce righteously because of abuse.

5. The Place for Remarriage

We have already seen in Jesus’ teaching in Matthew and Mark quoted above that it is possible for remarriage itself to be adulterous, such as when an adulterous spouse is divorced from their old partner and decides to get married to their new partner. Remarriage is only a valid option after a valid divorce.

But there are legitimate grounds for remarriage. The Apostle Paul suggests that the spouse who has been deserted is free to marry (1 Corinthians 7:15), as well as the one whose spouse has died (1 Corinthians 7:39). Where there has been divorce because of adultery, the innocent party is also free to remarry.

What about where Christians are improperly divorced and remarried? The Apostle Paul’s teaching in 1 Corinthians 7 is repeated in verses 17, 20 and 24: ‘remain as you are’, because the time is short before Jesus returns. If we have sinned by remarrying, God doesn’t want us to sin even further by divorcing. He wants us to repent of past sins, seek his forgiveness, and seek reconciliation with anyone we have sinned against by breaking our marriage vows in the first place.

The decision for a church and its pastor on whether to remarry someone will be a matter of conscience, on the basis of their understanding of Scripture, and often based on limited knowledge of the past.

6. The wider world

UK divorce law changed significantly in 2022 when no-fault divorce came into effect. Before then, anyone wanting to divorce their spouse had to prove their marriage had irretrievably broken down through adultery, unreasonable behaviour, desertion, or separation. The earliest a divorce could be granted was two years with their spouse’s consent, or five years without. Now, the Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act (2022) allows couples to divorce in six months without having to give any reason, and a spouse cannot contest the decision. Our society has moved a long way from biblical teaching, and the damaging ripple effects for individuals, children and the welfare state will only increase in the coming years.

Within the wider church, there is no longer a clear consensus on marriage, and most churches adopt a pragmatic and liberal approach. In some conservative evangelical circles however, the opposite is the case. There can be a hard-line attitude towards divorce and remarriage that leaves little room for divorce and no room for remarriage. UK Anglican evangelical Andrew Cornes, for example, has the view that all who have remarried after divorce are in a permanently adulterous relationship because he or she is still married to their original partner in the eyes of the Lord.⁶ In the USA, some conservative evangelical churches take the view that abuse is never a ground for divorce, even encouraging victims to stay with their abusers. John MacArthur’s Grace Community Church and The Master’s Seminary have come into trouble as they have sought to apply this view with disastrous pastoral and legal consequences.

Having noted this, it is important to state once again that marriage is intended to be permanent and life-long. Divorce is a concession, not a command. It is a last resort not a first resort. Help, counselling, care, and temporary separation where necessary are all important steps before beginning to think about divorce. Every effort is to be made to preserve marriages for the glory of God and the good of everyone concerned.

7. The Need for Biblical Clarity, Pastoral Care and Great Wisdom

It is one thing to come to a clear mind about what the Bible teaches on these matters, but it is another thing to know how Scripture’s teaching should be pastorally applied. Sometimes marital breakdown is clear cut: a husband, for example, commits adultery with someone at work and then moves in with her. There are clear grounds for his wife to divorce him, but even then, divorce is not commanded. In time the husband may repent, his wife might forgive him, and the marriage might be saved.

In relation to domestic abuse, in our congregation, A Domestic Abuse Policy has been written by a group of people in the church with expertise and wisdom on these matters. In cases of abuse, it is important to make sure that the abused spouse and any children are safe from harm. It is not always easy to see what is going on behind closed doors, especially when there is abuse. While it is important to see people as innocent until they are proven guilty, when a spouse says that there has been abuse, it is important to take their concerns seriously, listen carefully, and report where necessary. There will be limits to what elders can investigate, and outside agencies may need to be involved.

As our policy states:

The leadership team understands that Emmanuel Church is one institution within a broader network that must play its part in recognising and referring cases of domestic abuse to those with statutory responsibility. As such, criminal matters including allegations of domestic abuse must be reported to, and investigated by, civil agencies. Emmanuel Church will not seek to investigate, prove, or disprove a disclosure of domestic abuse but rather the church will seek to support everyone who may be impacted by such disclosures whilst supporting the statutory and voluntary agencies involved.

Faced with the pain and complexity of many pastoral situations, not least in the area of marriage, divorce and remarriage, we give thanks that Christ Jesus is the Good Shepherd of his sheep, who understands all things and has compassion on all his people.

Footnotes

1
Gordon J. Wenham, Genesis 1 – 15, Word Biblical Commentary (Waco: Word Books, 1987), 71.
2
Jonathan Edwards, The ‘Miscellanies’: Entry Nos. 501 – 832, ed. Ava Chamberlain, The Works of Jonathan Edwards 18 (Yale University Press, 2000), 298.
3
See the research of David Instone-Brewer, for example, Divorce and Remarriage in the Bible: The Social and Literary Context (Eerdmans, 2002); Divorce for “Any Cause”, Whitefield Briefing, December 2003(Vol.8 No.5); and his LEGO YouTube explanation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRiC0LEoDaM.
4
Wayne Grudem, ‘Grounds for Divorce: Why I Now Believe There are More Than Two’ Eikon 2/1 (Spring 2020), 73; italics in original.
5
Thomas Cranmer, Reformatio Legum Ecclesiasticarum (1552), chapters 5, 10, 11; Theodore Beza, De Repudiis et Divortiis Tractationes Theologiae (1582); William Perkins, Christian Oeconomie (1609).
6
Andrew Cornes, Divorce and Remarriage: Biblical Principles and Pastoral Practice (Fearn, Ross-shire: Mentor, 2002), 307.

Contributor

Richard Hagan

Richard is Senior Minister of Emmanuel Church Canterbury

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